Ahhh, waking up after working until sunrise, with that sense of accomplishment and the fulfillment from following the right path. God is good! However, He also has a sense of humor.
Enter Captain Chaos.
No matter how hard I try to quit smoking, I still haven’t gotten past the point of having to smoke upon first waking. I keep a pack in my truck, in the hope that having to walk out there rain or shine for one lousy cigarette will finally get me over this hurdle. Today could very well be that day!
I wake up, say good morning to the King Kitty, poking the target on his side and throwing the blanket over his head…hey, he wakes me up in much worse ways! I pull my shoes on, and head for the door for that one lousy cigarette. It’s a short trip down the sidewalk to the front of the house and my truck, so I don’t bother putting on my glasses.
I reach the truck door and feel/hear a squish, looking down I see I’ve stepped in mud. WAIT, this is concrete with grass growing up between the cracks, no dirt or mud, but….dogshit! SOB (literally)!! No longer caring about smoking, I just want this mess off my shoe. I start dragging my foot, hobbling towards the grass still wet from the 2 days of thunderstorms. After dragging my foot through the wet grass, I turn my foot up to inspect the bottom of my shoe. Hey, I did a good job, can’t see anything but wet leaves and grass. NOT thinking about the facts, my shoes are black, I AM color blind and I don’t have glasses on.
Forget the damn cigarette, now I feel dirty and want to shower. I walk to my apartment door and open it, King Kitty is sitting there waiting for me, as he usually does. As I lift my foot to step into my dwelling, the King goes berserk!! Simon runs at the offensive foot, howling, ears flattened, claws out…HOLY CRACK KITTY!! He is crazy mad, scaring me bad enough, I quickly back off the step and slam the door shut. The ONLY time I’ve seen a cat behave like that towards a human, is when my mother refinished a wall unit in a closed garage, getting the poor little kitty she didn’t see in there, totally stoned from the fumes.
I sit on the brick entry way, trying to regain my composure and I can still hear the cat howling through the door. WTF?? The only thing I can think of is my shoe still has dog doo on it, maybe in the grooves where I can’t see. I see the guy next door out checking his flowers and trees for damage from the storms, and explain what is happening to him. He’s a sweet older man that always talked to my mom, he laughs at my predicament and explains that’s why his cats live outside. He lets me use his hose to clean my shoe, and wash the damn pile of dog crap off the sidewalk, down the street. We sit there wondering how the dog managed to hit that spot to start with, it was almost under the truck..weird.
Finally, I walk back to my apartment to see if the demon seed will allow me to enter. I listen intently for any howling, it’s quiet so I twist and rattle the door handle to see if that activates the monster….so far, so good. I open the door and peer inside, no kitty in sight. I walk in, shut the door behind me and cautiously make my way further into the apartment. I find the King sitting in the middle of the couch staring back at me. He jumps down, calmly comes over, sniffs my shoes and dismissively goes off on whatever crazed kitty errands he has to attend to.
I stand there, with my mouth hanging open, wondering if I dreamed all of this. Nope, the squishy, soaking wet shoe, proves it did indeed happen. I’m thinking this is gonna be another one of those days, I don’t DARE leave the house…well, at least not without my glasses again…lol.